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Sana  Raheel
Sana Raheel
Mansoura International School
The Brave Girl Part 4
Published On Nov 18th 2012
Total Comments : 18
Total Views :  660
7 People Like this!


Rank 8 Out of 10
Tehreem decided to apply to a school as a helper but she didn’t get a job. When she had almost given up hope, she saw a competition that would give ten thousand dollars to the person who won. All she had to do was eat a chocolate in front of the judges. It wasn’t any ordinary chocolate. It was really big and was extra sweet and no one was able to do it because it hurt their teeth so much. Tehreem had not tasted sweets since she had gone in grade 2. She remembered its sweet taste and remembered how she had been really fond of sweets. She decided to enter, it wouldn’t cost a penny and if she was lucky enough she might win. So, she entered her name and, surprisingly she came in after 1 person…She saw through the window that he ate five to six bites and left. She saw the chocolate it was bigger than seeing it through the window. Tehreem had been out all morning and hadn’t bothered for breakfast and had no money for lunch. It was five and her stomach was rumbling. She heard someone saying Eat! So she did….It was really tasty especially after a whole day of nothing to eat. She ate it whole and wanted another but she found it rude to ask for another chocolate. The judges were amazed and felt that they should announce her as winner for a month had passed and no one ever won. They announced her as winner gave her a cell phone and told her to get her prize money tomorrow in front of people. She agreed and left. She rushed as fast as she could to her home and did. She couldn’t wait to tell everyone in her home.
When she finally arrived after what seemed like centuries, she found her mother looking outside with a worried expression on her face. She bought her inside and asked her if she wanted to eat something but Tehreem cut her short and said: ‘Mother I won a competition of winning ten thousand dollars. I went to seek a job to a school they had no vacancy I went to seven or eight schools, none had vacancy and when I had given up hope, then my stomach gave a loud rumble. I saw a fair and went there for something to eat then I found this competition and won it! They gave me a cell phone and told me to come to the same place tomorrow as the will set up a stage then, then…………’  Tehreem out of shock and happiness had fainted. Her mother took her to bed and thought of leaving her that way as she looked very tired. Then Tehreem woke up after two and a half hour by a phone ringing. She remembered a dream where she won a competition but could it be a dream? She thought. Then she saw her new phone and she felt happy then suddenly----- Her stomach gave a round RUMBLE! She needed to eat something for sure.
She ate a really heavy dinner and she felt as a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Then her phone rang and a person said: Are you Miss Tehreem?’ ‘Yes’ ‘Ma’am you won a competition today of eating a chocolate which you passed and you will get your prize money tomorrow so come at 12 o’ clock in the Good Dreams Hall’ ‘But sir that is the biggest, and most important hall in the city!’ ‘Yes I am aware. Do come in time.’ ‘Yes sir, I will but sir can I bring my family?’ ‘Sure.’ ‘Bye Sir’ ‘Bye.’
Then, at 11 o’clock Tehreem left her home with her family, everyone in their best clothes. They arrived at five minutes to twelve and entered the great hall. After some minutes a man came and gave a short speech then called Tehreem to the stage. Tehreem did and received her money. Then as a surprise, they had a feast in the hall. They all ate to their full and Tehreem received ten to fifteen boxes full of chocolates. She hurried to the nearest ticket office and bought a ticket to America, two days later. She packed all of her clothes and bought all necessary items to stay comfortably with her father. She left a thousand dollars which after conversion became twenty thousand rupees and tehreem took eight thousand dollars with herself. ` She remembered to be in a plane where she thought only of her father. Then she arrived to the airport and, after collecting her luggage, took a cab and went to a good hotel with two beds, one for her father and one for herself. The next day, Tehreem had ordered breakfast, She saw a newspaper within and a small heading caught her eye………….
 To be continued...............
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Comments 18
Hiba Thankyou so much 4 liking my stufff.......tthhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnkkkkkkkkkkyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuoooooooo alooooooooot Hiba
Jun 6th 2013
Sana I have sended the next part three times......the vshine ppl wont accept it!!!!(by the way next part is last) Sana
May 15th 2013
Hiba Sana please do lyk my stories Hiba
Feb 22nd 2013
Nimra Hey gys does anyone wants to be my friend? Nimra
Jan 23rd 2013
Sana Sorry but I didn't hav time to write it as school started.....sorry plus I may not write it more for a personal reason Sana
Dec 25th 2012
Sana Woa hold your horses i am sending it...:D Sana
Dec 12th 2012
Dec 7th 2012
Sana I must say the competition of eating was really strange...... but I'll send Sana
Dec 5th 2012
eman I caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant wait to read the next part awesome story Eman
Dec 1st 2012
tehreem Great story sana ..keep it up .. n send the next part soon Tehreem
Nov 30th 2012
Sana If I get five comments I will sendd the story quickly Sana
Nov 27th 2012
Sana Tell me within a week to send the part quickly Sana
Nov 27th 2012
 hurria Awesome story!!!! ☺ Hurria
Nov 24th 2012
Wajeeha Amzing!! keep up the gud wrk =) Wajeeha
Nov 23rd 2012
Sana Maybe next part will be last MAYBE only a maybe no promises. And u can always read it again. Plus I told in part three that part five will be sent really really late...:D Sana
Nov 19th 2012
Duaa Reallyyyyy good story..... And Cant wait for the next part. Please release it as soon as possible or i would forget what i have just read..... Duaa
Nov 19th 2012
Tooba Awesome........when is the next part coming & how many parts? Tooba
Nov 19th 2012
Khadijah I can't wait, I caaaaaaaaaan't waaaaaaaaaaait Khadijah
Nov 18th 2012

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