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Menahil Idrees
Menahil Idrees
13 O' Clock (part 1)
Published On Jun 19th 2012
Total Comments : 22
Total Views :  1045
10 People Like this!


Rank 7 Out of 10
Darkness swept all around them. The forest was overshadowed by trees which seemed like ghosts. Not even a speck of light could be seen anywhere. Robert had been driving since three hours now. He had just got his driver’s license and was totally exhausted. Beside him sat his two years younger sister, Giselle. "Robert, could you please go home now, camping over here is no use", Giselle exclaimed. Robert paid no attention to his sister.
Robert and Giselle could never understand each other. They expressed hatred for each other and were both busy in their separate lives. Robert had planned to go on this camping trip with his friends but unfortunately, his friends had left for the holidays and now he was stuck with Giselle. It was not that Giselle was satisfied going with Robert. She had planned to go on a party with her friends and now thanks to her big brother she was here on this stupid and lame camping trip. But Robert and Giselle did not know that on this very journey, not only would they begin to understand each other but also discover how possibly they couldn't bear losing each other.
Thunder roared and lightening struck. It began to rain heavily. “Robert, this forest is giving me the creeps", Giselle sounded scared. "Yeah, sure, I forgot that I had brought along my fourteen year old baby sister", Robert said. Giselle sat back in her seat annoyed at Robert's mean remark. "Robert where is the water?" Giselle inquired. "Yeah, the water......." Robert sounded strange. "No way, Robert, don't tell me that you drank all the water. When I checked the bottle three hours ago it was full. How could you be so selfish?" Giselle was angry at the mischievous behaviour of her brother. How possibly could he not even care this much for her? "Giselle, look..." Robert began to speak but his eyes stopped dead on the fuel gauge. The fuel was empty. The car had a creak and a jerk and there it stopped and by suddenly stopping one of its tyres fell down and rolled away. Giselle was furious with her stupid brother. "I am getting out of this car even if it is raining. I just can't stand you and your idiotic ways any more".
Giselle stepped out of the car. Robert also moved out. At that very moment, the car gave a frightful jerk and there it lay broken on the road. "Now what" Giselle was exhausted. "At least it stopped raining" Robert said. "Yeah, like that is going to bring us some benefit. Huh!” Giselle said. "Let's go and find a place to stay" Robert began walking. But Giselle would not go with him. She would rather stay right here. At last she decided to go with Robert. They began walking.
Quite soon, they reached a big castle. It was very old and gloomy as if it was closed from thousands of years. Giselle wanted to go away but Robert pulled her back. His sister had to stay close to him. If something happened to her he couldn't bear what his parents would say. Robert pushed the huge metal gates of the castle. But they wouldn't move. They were rusted and totally jammed. Giselle also pushed them as hard as she could. Her face was puffed up. Robert gave up. All of a sudden the gates creaked. They both pushed them once more and they swung open. "I am not going in", Giselle said. At that very moment the howl of a wolf came from the forests. "Okay, then don't come. But would you like to go to that wolf then", Robert teased her again. Giselle gulped and decided to go with Robert. Somehow she felt secure with him. They began walking along the rugged and rough path of the castle. Here and there thick thorny bushes and brambly branches lay. The trees were incredibly huge. They kept on walking. "Ouch", Giselle gave a scream. "What happened, Giselle?" Giselle's arm was bleeding. A thorn had stuck into it. Robert quickly pulled out the thorn while Giselle held on with the pain. He took out his handkerchief and wrapped it around Giselle's arm. "Feel better". "Yeah" Giselle replied.
Finally, they reached the huge wooden door of the castle. Robert pushed the door with all his might. It opened and sounded like a thousand cats shrieking and bats flying. Giselle gave up. "That is it Robert. The End, I am not going further. You are coming back with me. We will find some other place. Let's go". Robert seemed worried now. For the first time in his life he was worried about his sister. He said gloomily, "Look Giselle. I promise that nothing will happen to you. I will protect you from everything. You will be fine. Although I don't understand you or we don't get along well, still you have a part in my life and I won't let anything harm you". Giselle sounded a bit comforted. "Robert, it is not about me. I don't care about myself. I care about mom and dad. If something happens to us they will never be able to overcome the grief. And I care about you. Just as you said, you also have a part in my life and...........”   
Giselle was just finishing when a wolf came running toward them. They ran into the castle and shut the door with a bang. "Oh great, now we are here" Giselle was annoyed. "If this is a very old castle then the kitchen must be downstairs and the rooms must be up". Robert said, he was brilliant at history. They decided to go up to the rooms to sleep. They had eaten in the vehicle a few hours before it collapsed. Just as they were heading up the stairs, Giselle called on to Robert. "Look at this beautiful clock". Robert came and was astounded by its beauty. He loved ancient artefacts. He exclaimed "Wow, the clock is made up of solid gold with silver flowers and jewels making amazing patterns. If I could take back one thing home, this would be it". "No Robert, look at the numbers". Giselle was scared now. "Yeah, they are so pretty. They are written in fabulous designs and with jewels too. Wow", Robert could not get what Giselle was saying. "How could you be so unnoticeable Robert? Neither am I talking about the designs. Nor have I any concern with the jewels plated on the numbers. All I am saying is that this clock is dangerous because it doesn't have twelve digits on it. Instead it ends at thirteen o clock!!!”
WATCH OUT FOR PART 2……… coming next month
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Comments 22
Aug 7th 2012
momina Waiting for part2 Momina
Jul 11th 2012
Menahil PPL, part 2 ïž here finally n I just can't w8 4 ur comments. I hope u like tht one too. By the way thanx 4 ur amazin comments. My story wouldn't be what it is without u guyzz. Luv u all soòooo much!!! Menahil
Jul 11th 2012
Menahil Hey VShine. Plz publish part 2. It's been almost 10 days tht i sent u tht part. Menahil
Jul 9th 2012
Ali Gr8!!!!!.... Excellent story I can't w8 for 2,3 days when will v shine publish part two I'm w8ing very anxiously Ali
Jul 3rd 2012
Menahil People, the waits over, finally, i hv posted part 2 today (1st July 2012). Now it depends on Vshine tht when do they upload it. Enjoy the part 2 as well. Menahil
Jul 1st 2012
Raniah Superb ..! waiting for the next part . Raniah
Jun 30th 2012
Aleena I can't wait 4 part 2.......superb!!!! Aleena
Jun 28th 2012
Ashna Cool....nice story. Publish part 2 soon:) Ashna
Jun 28th 2012
Zuhaa I liked it + hurry up I can barely wait Zuhaa
Jun 25th 2012
Menahil No syed, that part will not be the last part. I won't end this suspense + horror story sooooo fastly. Just wait and c!! Menahil
Jun 25th 2012
Syed Wow .. Horror Suspense and whatnot in this story ... Great Job dude .. Waiting for the 2nd part badly ... Will that one be also the last part ??? Syed
Jun 24th 2012
Menahil Thanxx every 1 4 ur awsum comments. Khadija, I can't publish the 2nd part in June. wait till July. I hope tht u guyzz like tht 1 2. thanxx again every 1 Menahil
Jun 23rd 2012
l Very nice story but I cant wait for a month.Can you submit soon. L
Jun 22nd 2012
Wajeeha Awesome story.waiting for the next part!!! Wajeeha
Jun 22nd 2012
Afshan Good story Afshan
Jun 21st 2012
Aisha Really nice story....Please quickly post the next part...I am waiting for it...... Aisha
Jun 20th 2012
Aliza Thats awsm.........plxxxx be fst 4 nxt 1....;] Aliza
Jun 20th 2012
Malaika Like Malaika
Jun 20th 2012
Bushra Nice job big sis Bushra
Jun 19th 2012
 яυмαιsα AHH...Fast next part!! яυмαιsα
Jun 19th 2012
Muhammad Very nice story. I am anxiously waiting for part 2 Muhammad
Jun 19th 2012

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