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Ayan Rehman
Ayan Rehman
Beconhouse School System Middle Branch
Commando And The Cyborg Army
Published On Apr 5th 2012
Total Comments : 4
Total Views :  1079
1 Person like this!


Rank 8 Out of 10
Commando Brock was resting on the top bunk when suddenly the video wall flickered and on it came Sarge the general he was a green coat with humorous badges on it he had white and grey hair and a French beard he shouted "HEY COMMANDO WE HAVE A MISSION FOR YOU AND IT IS BIG SO GET UP!!!!" the thunderous voice made commando jump out of his bed and on to the floor he saluted the general and then said in a deep voice "what’s the mission sir?" he answered. “We have got a maniac scientist running here and there creating a cyborg army I want you to dispose it." commando gulped and then said "sir a whole army?" "YES A WHOLE ARMY NOW GET GOING!!!!" the general said. Commando went to the weapons dome of the base it had many weapons inside it he took a laser rifle, laser chain gun, a normal chain gun, a chain sniper, a bx1 cannon pistol, an ion cannon and a rocket cannon then he put them all in his battle pack and took out only his laser rifle and went to be teleported to the battle field he opened the glass and punched in the coordinates and then he got teleported in a huge grass land "grass land I was thinking of a large fortress" he thought then suddenly some half men half robots came out of nowhere. They had metallic skull shaped heads and large iron bodies they then transformed their hands into machine guns and shot small explosive shells at commando he ducked and took cover in the grass he put on his red bandana and fired with his laser rifle they hit it but were not enough so he boosted the power and powerful laser beams shot of the rifle like thunder and it hit the cyborg’s one exploded so commando jumped up in the air and he shot. Once the cyborg dodged it and he fired with his chain gun commando got hit in the shoulder but no damage done. He fired at the cyborg’s chest and it exploded with a large BOOM! and robot parts scattered here and there then commando continued on his way. He checked his hollow watch for any trace of other robots and there were loads of them so he saw a tree he climbed it and scouted the area for the robots he saw some objects not far so he zoomed in and saw they were far more bigger and dangerous then the first ones so he took out his sniper and turned the dial to cyborg’s then there was a sound which meant it was armed and ready so he aimed the different noses at the cyborg’s and aimed then fired there was no sound at all the cyborg fell one by one then he rushed forwards with immense speed and took out his chain gun he saw some large robots waiting for him there they had flat heads which were connected to their body’s and they shot missiles towards him he took cover behind some large rocks "time to give you guys a taste of the ion canon" he said so he took out his ion cannon and hold it with all his might and jumped out of the rocks aimed and fired immediately a sound like thunder came out of the cannon and a large beam burst out of it. It zoomed through the air like a lightning strike and hit the missile-cyborg. There was a large explosion with a large voice and a huge smoke cloud came over the field commando lay coughing on the floor he got up still coughing and trying to clear the smoke when it cleared he saw a giant fortress like castle made entirely of metal it had many deadly signs at it like a huge gigantic flaming head on one part and a pirate like flaming skull with sledge hammers on its side but on the top there was a huge skull wearing a crown this all seemed eerie and the entrance was with teeth commando kept staring at the fortress for some moments then he started walking inside suddenly there was a sound of clashing metal and three huge cyborg’s came with no heads and a huge bode they had chain guns for hands and from the middle came a huge titan with a small glass bubble on its chest there sat the mad scientist "well, well, well gotten past my security have you. You will pay for this" he said then the headless bots chest opened and there were millions of missiles there they fired then the titan opened it arsenal and many nuke cannons were there the trio fired together commando kept dodging the fires but this time he didn’t take cover he ran and fired with the rocket cannon there were small explosions on one boat and it stabled a little then commando aimed for its legs and fired rockets at it. Its legs exploded and it fell to the ground in slow motion then commando saw a nuke and missile coming at him so he dashed behind a boulder he thought as small explosions were taking place "time to use the secret weapon" he took out the ion canon aimed and fired at the headless robot it hit the robot and he was sent flying towards the sky were he exploded then the titan out of its chest came a huge nuke cannon it fired a t commando but he dodged and jumped on a tree he then took out  a huge shell cannon and saw the nuke was an inferno nuke and out of the castle came tanks with large chemical tanks they fired and the surrounding area was on fire commando saw the tree was also catching fire so he leaped of it and onto the boulder he turned the switch of the gun down and zillions of explosive shells came bursting out of them. They hit the castle and there was a mighty explosion that made commando flying then everything went dark he woke up in the hospital wing of the military base Sarge was standing there smiling "mission accomplished" he said commando fell asleep again after all he did do a good work.
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Comments 4
SHAHEER You can write well because of your imagination but be careful of the words you use and try to make your stories short. Still, Well Done! Shaheer
Jun 1st 2012
Aimen Hey, I love the story but as an advice, get some help with your punctuations. In the future this will affect your work alot as punctuation is the main thing that gives meaning to you sentenses. Overall, man you have quiet an imagination. I would love to read the second part! Aimen
Apr 15th 2012
Ayan Hey you guyz want the second story of commando should i give it the title COMMANDO AND THE MUTANT ARMY OR COMMANDO AND THE LAND OF THE DEAD Ayan
Apr 13th 2012
Ahmed Gud Ahmed
Apr 8th 2012

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