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Beenish Saeed
Beenish Saeed
Lahore Grammar School
Tom Did Hard Work
Published On Aug 4th 2015
Total Comments : 18
Total Views :  954
8 People Like this!


Rank 8 Out of 10
A small boy named Tom lived with his parents in a cold and snowy village. Tom's parents did not have a job. "Dad! Let's go and find you a job," said Tom. His father was drinking tea near the fire. Tom went out to do fishing but he forgot that the river was frozen. It started to rain. Tom ran all the way home but he got wet. Somebody knocked the door. Tom checked the door. "Hello! If you have no job boy then come to Papa Joe’s restaurant," said the man. Tom closed the door and discussed this with his father. "I want this job," said Tom. Tom joined Papa Joe’s restaurant. He went to the restaurant every day. Years and years passed and Tom grew 20 years old. He became manager of the restaurant. He got rich. He took his parents to Indonesia and they lived with him happily.
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Comments 18
Aiza I think it's good,it doesn't matter for a story to be long or short,it is published in the v shine magazine congrats Beenish Aiza
Jun 8th 2017
Irza Anaya I only give advice to people so they can become better. I am not over-confident. Irza
May 3rd 2017
Shayan My heart goes out to the families whose loved ones were lost. May Allah make it easy. Let's say Fatiha for all and sp Junaid Jamshed RIP. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un. Shayan
Dec 7th 2016
Beenish I really do like all of your suggestions and I wrote another story, hope the administrator publishes it in the story section. I will try to write a longer part 2 of this story. Thank you, once again! All of you have been really helpful to write my stories. Beenish
Dec 7th 2016
Wania People I just want to tell you that if I decline your friend requests don't be dishearted. I am confused with your names whether you are a boy or a girl. I only accept girls friends requests not boys. Wania
Sep 26th 2016
yashfeen Your story is very nice and it is published in magazine .keep it up Yashfeen
Aug 11th 2016
Anaya Izra you post on everything and you are overconfident in your self....control Anaya
Aug 5th 2016
Wania Welcome Wania
Apr 2nd 2016
Beenish Thank you all for commenting and liking my work. Beenish
Dec 15th 2015
Shayan Superb!!!! Shayan
Nov 20th 2015
Wania Good but it could be more detailed Wania
Sep 22nd 2015
dua Good Dua
Aug 23rd 2015
Misha It's a very nice story Misha
Aug 16th 2015
Aleena I believe that your story is something that's really good! A creative mind! Aleena
Aug 16th 2015
Sarah This sure is good but it's short. It could have been much longer and more interesting. Sarah
Aug 11th 2015
Irza It's great but just remember to not leave out the important parts like how he got it when he got it was he happy with the job.u know things to make it interesting!!! Irza
Aug 10th 2015
Anusha It is good but it should have been a bit longer Anusha
Aug 7th 2015
amna Your story should have been a bit long and detailed. but it is good Amna
Aug 5th 2015

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