Once there was a boy who never cares for his books. he always tears its pages and even throw them out.the boy thought that no one else him know about this habit,but the king of books watchs him day and night.one day when the boy was out the king of books sent down his fairies to take his books. when the boy returned he was shocked that where is his books. he searched a lot but then started crying. then suddenly he heard chimes, the king of books came down and give him his books the boy was shocked. the king told the boy to take care of his books,otherwise the king will burn his books..... moral: please take care of your books
You know on some points I agree with sherum that we should speak the truth and we did,so you don't have to be mad but you should be thankfull.I know shehrum did not have to use bad wording but the point is you realllllllllyyyyy should be thankfull.The story is not soooo bad.
Well shehram i remembered what you said but my answer starts now you do not have an opinion to tell me whats right or wrong and the other thing is that u know that i am from najran yeah so u are from lahore right like penduu"tum jaise loog duniya mein nahin hoon to acha hi hai.pehle khud sekho phir dusron ko sekhao.....;)"hope you like your first class besti miss.......... wait for the next comment,story,winner and wait and see.
You all started fighting
Admin told you that they tell the winner by the story and their age
Like a child in class 5 writes a story of only 7 lines so heis not declared as a winner a child in class 1 writes a story 7 lines should be declared as a winner.
Hope you do not ignore my message
First thing stories have to be bit interesting for the reader morals add or not nothing matters. I am not putting up a fight. Maybe Maybe Maybe Shehram is right but I do'nt know where but she is kind of right. Yumna should be encouraged. Shehram has the right to give feedback. I am with Shehram.
I am just opposing the winner part and i said to admin not to her if she minds i dont care but thats completely unfair you gotta agreee aand even if you dont truth remains the truth you can't change it so now use arguin bout it.....
And second thing,you're just discouraging Yumna. you could tell her that you can improve your mistakes in various ways,politely instead of pointing out her mistakes like some comments that say that this story doesn't deserve to be winner.
we don't write stories so we can be winner.
I agree with u guys Shehram and Bakhita this is story is too short and there are many many many grammar mistakes and the idea is not very good.It is very childish it is very unfair with the other writers if this story has won a prize.You should write some long stories like this:http://www.vshineworld.com/…/content/20226/board-exams-ghost and many other stories which are also very good.
Jun 20th 2015
Keep it up , youngie . I love the story . I don't really love the story but I love your efforts . I know that one you'll be a great writer . (y)♡♡♡
Well everyone after me ?? what i said wasn't wrong that you have to agree ... I don't say that don't declare short stories or stories with tenses winner .. what i am saying is to look towards the other stories as well ... nd its just me giving some feedback
This stuff is declared winner considering many factors ...for example little kids are also made winner according to their calibre ...so an ideal stuff isn't always announced winner......thnx for commenting al;
Umair i do not mean any offense but it is not fair thats it .. i mean like this story is too small and i do not find any creativity, i will not like to say anything more but this all is not fair thats it and we have a right to say whats wrong and whats unfair...
Well said Shehram...The story is grammatically very wrong...Though it's not a disgrace or discouragement for the writer, but really it does not deserve to be the winner!
Jun 1st 2015
Shehram..... grammar is corrected normally while approving the stuff .... maybe this story got published as it is mistakenly..... and winners are decided on creativity and idea mostly....sentences and grammar are not preferred