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Fatima Tariq
Fatima Tariq
Bloomfield Hall School
The Golden Flower
Published On Apr 20th 2015
Total Comments : 10
Total Views :  422
4 People Like this!

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Rank 7 Out of 10
Once there lived two best friends,Lia and Mary.Near thier home was a hill on which stood a giant castle.Nobody lived in that beautiful castle.One day,both friends were wondering around the castle when Lia got a exiting idea.Lets go and play inside the castle!she at once told Mary her idea.Well nobody lives thier so who will mind us Mary shouted exitedly.They both ran to the castle.When they went inside they were heart thrilled.The palace was old and dusty but it was large and wonderful.Look! said Mary.An old shelf.Its so dusty said Lia as she coughed.Lia touched the shelf and it moved a little.There is something behind this Lia told.Let me help you Lia Mary said and they pushed the shelf.An enterance appeared.The friends looked at eachother with amazment.Lets go! said Lia.Wait Lia! shouted Mary as they  ran to the other side of the enterence.When they got out,You should have seen thier faces!They pinched eachother and said it a dream.Fairies were flying,Mermaids were swiming and elfs were working.Unicorns roamed the land.A fairy wearing a crown came to us.I am Queen of this land.Mary and Lia bowed to her.We are Lia and Mary Lia told her.The oman was correct said the Queen.Oman? asked Mary.The first Queen of this land built all this here.Why behind a helf asked Lia.I will tell you the all story said the Queen.My great grandmoter was a fairy Queen.All creatures hide from humans because they can harm us.My great grandmother did not know where to go.One night she was flying nd she was worried.She crash into a tree and collapsed into the balcony of this palace.At that time here lived a Queen.She woke up from the noise.She saw my great grandmother lieing on the floor.Leave me alone my great grandmother cried.I will help you the Queen said and she bandaged her.Arent you going to cage me.No! the Queen said.My great grandmother told her the story.She at once ordered the wizard of castle to make a hidden land behind this shelf.He did as he was tod to.Everyone was happy there.My great grandmother and the Queen became friends but oneday a selfih boy peeked through the window and saw everything.He at once told the village.They wanted to capture the fairies.The went in front of the castle with weapons.Give us the fairies or we will kill you.Never ever she shouted and ordered the fairies to hide in their land and servants to run from the castle.I won’t leave you ever said my great grandmother.But other fairies pulled her inside.The castle was burnt by the village.Come here my great grandmother shouted but the Queen was traped in the fire and she died.Then this omen was made that two bestfriend will come here and save us from evil.We are the heroes shouted Lia.True said Mary.There was a party for the heroes had arrived finally.But suddenly a fire trapped a unicorn.Everyone was running here and there.I will save you shouted Lia.She jumped into the fire and held the unicorn but now she was trapped in the fire.Luckily Mary pulled her and the fire stoped.They are heroes shuted everyone.
To be continued 
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Comments 10
aiza Nice one Aiza
Sep 21st 2016
 
 
Wania Gud story Aden Wania
Sep 24th 2015
 
 
Fatima Arij you are right this is a great story Fatima
Jun 8th 2015
 
 
Arij Great story Aden, :D Arij
Jun 7th 2015
 
 
Aden I am sorry for sending this from my sisters I.D.I want to publish part 2 from my I.D but its not publishing.What should I do? Aden
Jun 2nd 2015
 
 
Fatima Maryam u must say this all to Aden Seerat my sister Fatima
May 8th 2015
 
 
MARYAM It was good but you could have improved it by using more descriptive sentences.... Maryam
Apr 23rd 2015
 
 
Fatima Aden you have write a great story Fatima
Apr 22nd 2015
 
 
Fatima Guys i want you to know that my sister Aden Seerat has written this story Fatima
Apr 22nd 2015
 
 
Fatima Great story. Fatima
Apr 21st 2015
 
 

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