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Aden Seerat
Aden Seerat
Bloomfield Hall School
Something In In The Room 3
Published On Feb 7th 2015
Total Comments : 7
Total Views :  508
3 People Like this!

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Rank 7 Out of 10
Who are you? I asked. I am lily. I live in this hostel near your room she said. You mean next room, but I thought it was empty I told. No, I have been living there since I was eight she said in a scary tune. I want you to come to my room at mid night she said. Before I could react she ran. I heard a noise from the pond. I stood near it and put my hand in the water. Suddenly a hand from the water pulled me inside. I saw that a girl was pulling me. She will kill you!! She screamed.
To be continued
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Comments 7
Berha Well, if you want critic remarks then it is not so much great but nice effort more detail could improve it or maybe where she sees the 'girls' you could detail it so we could feel like we are standing or present in the situation, on the other hand it is pretty awesome! Like the theme Berha
Jun 4th 2017
 
 
Fatima Aureen why are you not coming to school? Fatima
Apr 10th 2015
 
 
aureen Really nice aden. please publish the next part. thxxxxxxxxxxxx.:) Aureen
Apr 9th 2015
 
 
Tooba Gud1 Tooba
Feb 23rd 2015
 
 
Ayesha Thanks for inviting. Ayesha
Feb 19th 2015
 
 
jasmine Not scary i like it Jasmine
Feb 11th 2015
 
 
Fatima Next part please it is scary Fatima
Feb 8th 2015
 
 

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