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Hafsa  Irfan
Hafsa Irfan
Home Schooled
A Wonderful Day At The Funfair
Published On Feb 3rd 2014
Total Comments : 16
Total Views :  479
2 People Like this!


Rank 8 Out of 10
Lucy and her granddad were walking on the street and suddenly they came across a notice board. It was about a funfair that day at 4:00pm at Peterswood street number five. Lucy saw the watch and told her grandfather that half an hour left for the funfair to start. She asked her grandfather “would you take me to the funfair, please?” Her grandfather said “I will of course take you, my sweetheart”. So they waited for the yellow bus that went to the funfair at Peterswood. At last, a yellow bus appeared with some passengers sitting in it and they sat in it and went to the funfair.
When they reached the funfair, Lucy ran inside holding her grandfathers hand. Some people were playing golf and other people were sitting in the boats having boat rides along the lake. The whole lake area was covered with big yellow shimmering lights. The people who were playing golf were looking happy. They were playing golf on the grass. Lucy and her grandfather then came across a man with a black coat who was performing acrobats and a lot of people were looking at him. The man with the black coat was juggling with torches and was cycling on a cycle with one tyre .Then when it was 6: oo pm Lucy became hungry so she told her grandfather that lets eat food. And just then a LOUD bell rang , it seemed that the whole funfair stopped for a few seconds!! The bell was for food time. There were some stalls with various types of food. Lucy ate the food. Then she was feeling thirsty. She told her grandfather, he said that you ask the man on the stall. Lucy went to him, he said that this in this funfair there is only one well of water. And everyone drinks from that.
Lucy drank the water and went to her grandfather. They walked together till the gate of the funfair because it was getting late and Lucy’s mum was waiting at home for her. Just right then there started fireworks. Lucy looked at the sky and saw fireworks of various colours. She saw the fireworks and then they went home together. When they reached home, Lucy’s mother made tea and they told what happened at the funfair that day. Lucy was very happy that day and she slept dreaming about the funfair :)
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Comments 16
HAFSA Can you tell plzz Hafsa
Jun 8th 2014
zahaab Its a secret Zahaab
May 10th 2014
HAFSA What is her nickname Hafsa
May 6th 2014
zahaab Manahil!!! tmhara nickname tmhare van waloon ne theek rakha hai Zahaab
May 1st 2014
Irum Okay Okay...Peace:) Irum
Feb 18th 2014
HAFSA Larai larai maaf kara ALLAH ka ghar saaf karo:P Hafsa
Feb 17th 2014
HAFSA Acha acha maaaf karo:P Hafsa
Feb 17th 2014
Irum Then why did you reply aggressively the last time? Irum
Feb 16th 2014
Irum And also, I did not say that it is bad, I said that it is good. You can check on my last comment that I said it was good. Irum
Feb 15th 2014
HAFSA I do understand both your previous and present comment. positive Criticism is always welcome. No need to show it to my mom. Hafsa
Feb 14th 2014
Irum Dear Hafsa,Everybody has a right to their opinion, in fact, it is good to get a critical opinion because that makes you look at your mistakes and improve your work. If someone posts a critical comment, like me, it does not mean that I hate you or something. It means that I am simply just correcting your mistakes. If you only get good good comments, like, "Oh, Hafsa, I love your story,"' or "This is the best story in the world," .Then you would have thought that it really is a very good story. You won't even know your story's bad sides or mistakes. The biggest writers in the world have done trial and error which lead to BIG stories. If someone wouldn't have told them their mistakes , then they wouldn't have been so successful. So, instead of posting such a hateful comment, which is the start of a fight, you should have said, "Thank you Ayesha, for telling me how I should make my next story," You should be grateful. Because only Others' point of view can make you realize your errors. I think that you don't understand this comment. Make your mother read it. She 'll understand what I'm trying to say. Irum
Feb 14th 2014
HAFSA Ayesha its not for you to read. who told you to read it??? it is for some small children on vshine. you are becoming cheeeky these days!!!!!! can you ever post a nice comment on my stuff in vshine.youre always fighting about me. i dont even care if you ARE against me or not. BATAAMEEEEZ!!! PLZ READ AND THINK THAT WHY THESE FIGHTS START IN VSHINE!!!!!!!!! AND THEN YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT IN VSHINE EVERYONE FIGHTS WITH ME,THAT IS BEACUSE YOU IRRETATE EVERYONE BY SAYING BAD THINGS TO THEM. PLZZ THINK:) Hafsa
Feb 13th 2014
Irum Hmmm... Maybe you could read this story to ur 5 year old sister, Hafsa. It's good. But it's not for our age. If you could make a mature story for big children, like Fatimah Latif does, then we could atleast enjoy it. And Minahil, ha ha ha, good comment, really witty... :) Irum
Feb 12th 2014
KHAN It is superb! Khan
Feb 11th 2014
Feb 10th 2014
manahil See again no comments hahaha Manahil
Feb 9th 2014

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