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Lily Dae
Lily Dae
Rida Allide School
The Big Bully
Published On Mar 25th 2011
Total Comments : 15
Total Views :  1957
4 People Like this!

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Rank 5 Out of 10
Once there Umar and Ayesha that was a cloudy day they were going to picnic on Sunday. They had delicious things to eat but a bully was chasing them on the bicycle. then bully came to Ayesha and snatched the basket from her and they start crying loudly and the bully was happy .Bully was going speedily he did not no that in front of his there was a tree .The bully fell down and start crying Ayesha and Umar where so happy then they pick up the basket happily and went for picnic .Moral tit for tat



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Comments 15
Abdur-Rahman Very good,but try to improve vocabulary Abdur-rahman
Sep 3rd 2011
 
 
Momina Whatever Momina
Jun 13th 2011
 
 
Kazim The theme is good but not vocabulary is weak. Try to use words which attract the readers like a magnet. Kazim
Apr 17th 2011
 
 
Namra Good try but you want a little bit improvement in your English.Don't mind Namra
Mar 25th 2011
 
 
Aleena Good! Aleena
Mar 23rd 2011
 
 
umar Cool but spelling mistake Umar
Mar 23rd 2011
 
 
umar Cool Umar
Mar 23rd 2011
 
 
lily Cool Lily
Mar 22nd 2011
 
 
lily Piz umar it Lily
Mar 22nd 2011
 
 
lily Hi ayesha Lily
Mar 22nd 2011
 
 
umar Plz vote me plz plz plz plz plz Umar
Mar 22nd 2011
 
 
cutie Hmm...nice but spelling mistakes. Cutie
Mar 22nd 2011
 
 
ayesha Good effort but spelling mistakee.. Ayesha
Mar 22nd 2011
 
 
umar Hmmm...nicee..:) Umar
Mar 22nd 2011
 
 
Bint waseem Nyc.. Bint Waseem
Mar 22nd 2011
 
 

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