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Sana Raheel
Sana Raheel
Pakistan International School, Riyadh
The Lonely Girls (part 1)
Published On Jun 21st 2013
Total Comments : 15
Total Views :  1022
9 People Like this!


Rank 8 Out of 10
Chloe and Maria were two sisters. They had recently moved in the city and were new to everyone and everything. Chloe was cool minded and remained the same in every situation. Mary was younger and was tense in difficult situations. But one thing was common, they simply loved detective books and were interested in everything adventurous. Also, they were interested in fashions.
One day, they went to the park together. Chloe was wearing her favourite dress, a pink frock with red sleeves that had a puff in them with red stockings and pink trainers. Mary wore a yellow shirt that had orange designs in it with a jeans pant and orange trainers. It was evening time and a windy day. The wind was blowing their medium length brown hair across their face. They were observing the squirrel that was picking nuts, when some called: ‘Hi!’ Chloe and Mary spun around and were a vision of amazement, happiness and friendliness. The reason was that they saw two girls, about their age. After a moment of silence, Mary said: ‘Hi! What is your name?’ The girl replied with a friendly smile: ‘I am Carly and this is my sister Emily.’ There was another pause in which Chloe observed the two girls. The elder girl, Carly, was wearing a purple frock with pink sandals. She wore her long brown hair in a braid. Emily, the younger sister, wore an orange shirt with a short skirt that had flowers embodied on them. She also wore sandals and had made her hair into a high pony. ‘Hi. We are also sisters and I am Chloe’ said Chloe as she shook hands with Carly. ‘And I am Mary.’ said Mary shaking hands with Emily. Carly said: ‘So……….how old are you?’ Chloe replied: I am thirteen years old and my sister is 11 years old.’ ‘And how old are you?’ asked Mary. Carly answered: ‘I am also 13 and my sister is 11 and a half.’
After talking for 15 minutes, Emily said: ‘I think we should go now.’ Mary said: ‘Yeah, we should also go, it’s getting late.’ Chloe: We will see you around okay? Carly: No.
Mary, Chloe and Emily stared at Chloe in shock.
Why did she say this?? To know, wait for the next part coming soon!!
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Comments 15
Anam Awesome.......! Anam
Sep 14th 2013
wafa Nyyxxx Wafa
Aug 21st 2013
HAFSA Sana this storyy is the best story i ever read.welldone! Hafsa
Jul 28th 2013
Marwa Pointed a mistake: When Carly says no not to meet it's written in the next line that: Emily Chole and Mary stared at 'Chole' . Instead it should have been : Emily Chole and Mary stared at Carly. Otherwise that's an awesome story . Very nice conceptions . Just going for the next part :P :) :P :) Marwa
Jul 22nd 2013
Sana Yeah Nazish, i just don't recheck and i mentioned it. Sana
Jun 28th 2013
nazish Nyc but i have observed 1 grammatical Israel that is you have written they were interested in fashions in the stories but it should b that they were interested in fashion. Nazish
Jun 28th 2013
Rafia Good...... Rafia
Jun 26th 2013
Sana Yes Areesha; Fatima Raheel is my younger sister Sana
Jun 24th 2013
areesha Sana is Fatima raheel your sister. Areesha
Jun 23rd 2013
areesha Good story Areesha
Jun 23rd 2013
Sana Sidra I meant that I didn't write " to b continued, the editor or admin added it. And the second part will b sent in three to four weeks Sana
Jun 21st 2013
Omer Hey guys i've found an editorial member at facebook. u people search him with He’s helping me publish my stories Omer
Jun 21st 2013
Sidra I think your eyesight is weak see your story carefully you have written to be continued. Sidra
Jun 21st 2013
Sidra Nice but when will you send the second part. Sidra
Jun 21st 2013
Sana I have a bad habit of not proofreading. So if u find grammatical or spelling mistakes , plz don't mind.... And I did not add that " to be continued"!!! Sana
Jun 21st 2013

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